So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
