Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
