They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
