If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
