haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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