ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
