Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
