problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This is my gift to your gina
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
