If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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