You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
