What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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