so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my shit smells like andre
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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