pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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