You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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