i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
