This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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