he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
