I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This baby is an asshole
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
