dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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