Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
His nipple licking is glorious
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