yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
