I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
