I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize
