I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
