is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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