you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
