i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
