Banned from zoo.
Again?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
is it fun? or sober?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
