In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
