hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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