am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
