those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
