i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
