help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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