just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
