last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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