Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
