YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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