i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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