it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
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