My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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