I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
