my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
