i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
