**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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