this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
