You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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