If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
