Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
