It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
