Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
