We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i used baking grease as lip gloss
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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