So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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