I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
