from now on my penis is your penis
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
