watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
