Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
