Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize