Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
