My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
