Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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