I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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