Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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