He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
