Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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