It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
