Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
