I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize