is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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