Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
